Where is the Feminists' Sense of Humor?

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In a nutshell:
Why is it that feminists seem to lack a sense of humor? Should any chauvinistic remark by a man, even if pronounced as a private joke between friends, lead to a lawsuit?,


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"Moi, je t'ai donné la tua donna" (I gave you your wife) – those were the alleged words that Silvio Berlusconi, Italian Prime Minister, whispered to Nicolas Sarkozy, President of France and husband of originally Italian Carla Bruni. These words were only deciphered through the help of a lip-reader hired by the French TV channel Canal+. The result was an announcement by two Italian lawmakers of the opposition (Anna Paola Concia of the left-wing Democratic Party and MEP Donata Gottardi), that they consider filing a complaint with the European Court of Human Rights.

So, where is the feminists' sense of humor?

This question reminds me of my childhood best friend. She had an older sister with which she constantly quarreled, and she used to talk badly of her to my ears. One day I myself said something, which wasn't very nice, about said sister. My friend was offended and upset with me. "But you say it all the time!" I exclaimed, surprised. "Yes", she responded, "but I'm her sister!"

How is this relevant to showing a sense of humor in accepting chauvinistic remarks? – My friend allowed herself to speak the way she did about her sister because she herself, me, her sister, and everyone else knew that she actually loved her sister very much. When I said what seemed to be the same thing it automatically WASN'T the same thing anymore. It is a known fact that much of Jewish traditional humor targets the Jews themselves. Should someone else try to tell the same joke, however, it would no longer be the same, and no longer be funny.

I'm not sure that this specific remark of Berlusconi is particularly worthy of the attention. It is, however, chauvinistic, and as for the feminists' sense of humor – it definitely exists (in general. Several feminist people have more of it and others have less, just like in any other population). But it is reserved to the feminists themselves. Otherwise, the joke, that feminists may share and laugh about, becomes a joke on them. And this is much less funny.

But wait: wouldn't feminism be more appealing to the masses were it presented as less hard headed? I think it would, much like Barbie or Playboy, for instance. Oh, right: but we're fed up with being either Barbie or a cover girl, a nun, a slut or a mother. So yes: when one wants to be taken seriously, one ought to suspend one's sense of humor. Especially when the joke is not even funny. ,

Where is the Feminists' Sense of Humor?

Rachida Dati: Good or Bad for Women?

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In a nutshell:
Rachida Dati, the French Minister of Justice, came back to work five days after the birth of her daughter. Is this an admirable dedication to work, or a grievous neglection of her daughter? Is this any of our business? ,


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Rachida Dati was bound to attract attention from the start: an immigrants' daughter, a woman (and a good-looking one) in politics, a single parent-to-be, who wouldn't give away the father's identity (as if this is any business of the public). She could have done or said nothing for the rest of her career; she would still be controversial.

But then again, she probably couldn't have sat still, because this is not her style. Instead, she chose to get back to work only five days after the birth of her daughter. Finally: a real issue to deal with concerning Dati!

This time, it's not so easy to undervalue the criticism of Dati: it is not merely a private concern, such as the identity of her daughter's father. It is not even the sensational question of whether she did or did not have an affair with President Nicolas Sarkozy. It is, so say some of her criticizers, a major question: How will her choice affect other women, who wish to have a full maternity leave – and then resume their career?

Those against her move argue that having a "maternity leave" of five days undermines the whole concept of a maternity leave, since if a five days leave can be enough for her, why wouldn't it be for any other working mother? Decades of struggling for the right to take a significant time-off to raise the newborn are now threatened by this one miserable move, say Dati's opponents.

On the other hand, those in favour of her decision stress the fact that she is not to be compared with other working mothers, since most of them are not, after all, the Minister of Justice of France. Her choice demonstrates her dedication to her work and to her electorate, so goes this argument, and it serves to show that women have no less responsibility than men do.

Whom does Dati's decision serve? Career women, struggling to accept recognition as devoted workers? Anti-feminist or anti-socialist activists, fighting to eliminate rights women have fought to accept for decades? Politically, there is no doubt that Dati's actions will serve activists of several kinds, but speaking to the point – isn't the mere meddling with Dati's choices a male chauvinist business? Do all women share the same need for a maternal leave, of the same length and of the same nature? Unequivocally: No. It depends on the specific needs, possibilities and prospects of the specific mother, her specific baby and her specific life view. What example does Dati present to working mothers? That of a mother who holds a very high-ranking job, and who chose to get back to it as soon as possible. What example should Dati present to working mothers? – None at all: every mother should have the right and the opportunity to have a full maternity leave, and decide for herself whether she chooses to take advantage of it fully, partly or not at all. Dati deserves the same right. ,

Rachida Dati: Good or Bad for Women?